PSL for arkfall

[goldenglasses]

[Vash was getting use to his life in the city. Some of it has been pretty bad, but for the most part he really can't complain. He always had enough to eat. He had stopped pouring sand out of his clothing. Could have all the water and shower for however long he wanted. No one had tried to shoot him in months. The people here even didn't care about his scars. In fact some people really liked them!

He was currently without a dominate, but he didn't mind. A small grace period to find another one and he wasn't in a rush. Which is why he was taking a moment to enjoy a bit of people watching in the Down. Munching on a donut and enjoying the day.

The only problem was in times like these his mind tends to wander to thoughts of home. Worry starts to settle in. Hoping that his friends were alright without him. Things certainly looking good when he left. Of course, there wasn't much he could do for them here so he tries not to think too much about it.

Besides, this donut was really tasty. Right now he just wanted to sit and enjoy them. Nothing bad could happen on this day, right?]

Comments

[arkfall]

[Knives moves forward to pick up the bottle.] Here, let me open this and hold it for you, then we can move to my room.

[He will uncap it and hold it up to Vash's mouth unless Vash stops him. It's only when he knows Vash has what he needs before he moves to get towels and leave his brother alone so he can lay out the towels and get ready to tend to him.]

[goldenglasses]

Alright, thanks. [Vash doesn't stop Knives or make any complaint against the help. Truth was he needed help even if he felt a bit silly to get it. He takes enough to swirl around in his mouth. Nodding his head at his brother when he has enough.

He gargles the mouth wash a few times and makes sure it gets to every part of his mouth before spitting it out. It certainly helped, but he still wished to brush his teeth then burn the toothbrush. That can be later.

Trying to be careful not to drip across the floor he heads to Knives room. Carefully he'll lay himself down onto the towels in a way he thinks will give Knives the best access to his cut.] Uh. You have done something like this before, right? Stitching someone?

cw; mention of self harm

[arkfall]

[Knives nods and looks as if he wants to say something else but isn't sure if he will.

He does, though, after Vash is laying down and he's starting to clean and tend to the wounds.

He isn't sure if this topic will help distract Vash or not, and even if distracting Vash is the right choice.]

I know what it's like to feel those blades inside of your skin. I've...

I used to... [He doesn't usually stumble over his words so much, but this topic is one of those he knows triggers the worst in him. As long as Vash doesn't try to defend the humans responsible, though...]

After Tesla.

That's how I dealt with it.

[goldenglasses]

[Vash is quiet for a bit. Working over what his brother has said. Surprised at the way his brother suddenly doesn't sound like his normal: can do no wrong, confident self. It distracts him enough that it takes him a little while to read between the lines of what Knives isn't saying. Once he does his tied, painfilled eyes go wide with shock.]

Knives. You di-- [He hadn't ever known.] Why? Why would-- [He shakes his head. Vash could understand why. He had tried to starve himself when he had first learned.] I'm sorry. I didn't know. [Or did he? Vash thinks back over their childhood wanderings. Maybe there were times where he had suspected Knives was up to something, but he just didn't want to know about it. Just in case it was worse than what he thought.] I should have realized. I should have been someone you could talk to.

[arkfall]

Oh, please. You were completely useless during that time too.

[Vash's response had been so intense that he wasn't in a place where he could care for someone else.]

Don't blame yourself.

[He doesn't talk about who to blame because he's not going to start another fight, not while he's still trying to tend to Vash's wounds.]

[goldenglasses]

Not-completely-useless.

[Vash mutters under his breath in the way someone who doesn't believe what he's saying would. He winces as Knives tends to him. The occasional quick intake of breath between his clenched teeth being the only complaint he makes while Knives work.

He opens and shuts his mouth a couple times. Trying to find something safe to say. He struggles to find anything.]

Do you think we would have gotten along together with her? [Finally he settles on a daydream he's often had in the past.] Or do you think we would have driven her crazy to have two younger brothers?

I like to think we would have been close.

[arkfall]

I think if they hadn't experimented on and tortured her then everything would have been completely different.

[Knives admits in a moment of honesty. He might have realized the truth in some other way, but it would have taken a lot longer.

He doesn't have any passion in his voice, he's too distracted by giving Vash the needed first aid. At least his hands are steady and gentle, even though there's not really anything he can do to stop it all from stinging.]

[goldenglasses]

Yeah. [Vash agrees wistfully. He won't downplay the horror she suffered in her short life.] It would have, huh?

[What he wouldn't give to have that life. A life where they all could have been happy.] There has to be male Plants on Earth, right? Did the girls you meet also have blond hair?

[There were more of them. Now that his mind had gotten onto the topic it was hard to get it off. What it would be life to not be alone.]

[arkfall]

Domina had a mix. I didn't really meet the other one. We spoke briefly over Domina's radio connection to her, but that was it.

I... I had a faint memory of what she looked out, I'm assuming she was blond.

[A pause.]

You didn't know that did you? That I would see the memories of those I absorbed.

[goldenglasses]

[Vash chews on his lower lip in a way that had nothing to do with the pain in his arms.] I... I suspected it after you tried to do it to me. [He has nightmares on a rare occasion. Ones that are hard to remember. Flashes of something that he can never quite grasp. Vash had wondered if maybe they were memories he couldn't remember because they belonged to his brother.]

[arkfall]

I can't do it with you though. If I try, you will take me over instead and I don't think either of us wants to force my memories on you.

[Another thing they can't really speak about without risking a fight.]

You're so strong, Vash. It's incredible.

You're incredible.

I wish I had embraced that fact sooner.

[goldenglasses]

I think I have some already and I'm not that interested in any more.

[He goes quiet for a moment. How proud he use to feel as a kid when his brother praised him. Now it felt wrong. Being praised for being incredible with his powers when to Vash he had nothing but destructive things with it.] Am I? I dunno. [He felt like a monster.] I think disaster fits me a bit better.

[arkfall]

No.

Vash, you saved the world. You stopped me. Then you saved me too, even though there was no reason for you to do so.

And now you're struggling to keep me sane so I don't hurt anyone else. [He doesn't have any illusions about why Vash contracted with him.]

[goldenglasses]

[It's hard for Vash to see it that way. His last memories of home being stuck behind locked bars as the world burns. The one truth he held onto for so long that his life wasn't preplanned. That he was in control of where his ticket took him made it hard to completely believe Knives when he said there was some idea of a happy ending waiting for him.

One without Wolfwood. Without Knives. Without probably a lot of things, but as happy as someone like him would probably be allowed to have.

Although saving Knives sounds like something he'd do. And he certainly was doing all he could to keep Knives from hurting people here so that part was true too.] Of course I would. [He says at last.] I'm your brother. It's what brothers do for each other. [Or at least what they SHOULD do.]

So, seen anyone around town you think is cute yet? [Changing the subject? What are you talking about? Vash would never do that!]

[arkfall]

[Knives's eyes narrow at that thought.]

No.

[And he's even less into the idea after today.]

How bad can their conditioning centers be?

[goldenglasses]

Really bad. [Vash pushes himself off the bed just enough to turn and look into his brother's face. It hurt and he winces at the action, but he felt this was important.] That place will take the choice away from you Knives. It will make you want things you might usually never want.

[He hesitates. Trying to think of the worst possible thing that could happen in Knives's opinion.] That place could make it so you want a human to humiliate you before you want a human to have sex with you. Is that something you want to possibly be forced on you? For them to mess with your mind to think you want it until you get it?

[It mentioned in that file Knives was given that Vash had been sent to the center. Most of it detailed the officers injured trying to bring the Plant in as the police weren't given the information on what the LIES staff did once they had him.]

[arkfall]

[Everything about that thought is disturbing, but he's not going to focus on such a thing. The only thing he can think about is how he knows that Vash has been sent to one of those places before.]

What did they make you want?

[goldenglasses]

[Vash's ears go red. A clear sign that he's utterly embarrassed. He turns his head away to lay back down properly onto the bed.] N-nothing! It doesn't matter! I didn't want anything!

Are you almost done? [Change the subject? Who, Vash? He would never do something like that!]

[arkfall]

I might be, if you stop moving.

[Knives doesn't push, even though he really wants to.]

[goldenglasses]

Maybe I wouldn't be moving so much if you were a bit more gentle. Or, you know, you were a hot nurse or something. [Knives's work with the stitching was actually fine. Hurt less than some of the doctors back home had done. Vash just wants to snark back at his brother for that comment.]

[arkfall]

Aw, brother. There's no reason to insult the way you look like that.

[Because, you know, they're twins.]

[goldenglasses]

No reason to insult the way you look... my name is Knives and I think I'm sooooooo smart and clever. Nyah. Nyah. Nyaaaaahggh!

[He mutters into the mattress. Mostly he's annoyed now because he can't think of a good comeback. Oh well, it will probably come to him in the shower two days from now.]

[arkfall]

[Knives raises his brow at the teasing.]


When have I ever says 'Nyaaaaahggh?'

[goldenglasses]

Every time you open your mouth.

[arkfall]

If that's what you hear, no wonder you never listen to anything I say.