museunboxing | PSL for arkfall

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PSL for arkfall

[Vash was getting use to his life in the city. Some of it has been pretty bad, but for the most part he really can't complain. He always had enough to eat. He had stopped pouring sand out of his clothing. Could have all the water and shower for however long he wanted. No one had tried to shoot him in months. The people here even didn't care about his scars. In fact some people really liked them!

He was currently without a dominate, but he didn't mind. A small grace period to find another one and he wasn't in a rush. Which is why he was taking a moment to enjoy a bit of people watching in the Down. Munching on a donut and enjoying the day.

The only problem was in times like these his mind tends to wander to thoughts of home. Worry starts to settle in. Hoping that his friends were alright without him. Things certainly looking good when he left. Of course, there wasn't much he could do for them here so he tries not to think too much about it.

Besides, this donut was really tasty. Right now he just wanted to sit and enjoy them. Nothing bad could happen on this day, right?]

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[Vash appreciates the help to put his coat on. Every movement that requires him to move his arms or back muscles at this moment a flare of agony.] It's fine. [Vash says with a soft, tired sigh when he catches his brother's glare.] They're not doing anything wrong.

[He winces at the heavy weight of his coat rests on his back. He makes a half hearted attempt to put his arm through the sleeve, but gives up on the idea pretty quickly. It just hurt too much.] You know... when I tried to give you that boost before it wasn't so you could make more knives.

[Knives takes a deep breath as if he is steadying himself.]

I lost control.

I... [He doesn't want to make this about him. He doesn't want to be like that anymore. He wants to care for Vash. He had let himself fade to give his brother freedom from him, and now that they have been forced in the same city again, he wants to be a better brother to him.

But this whole event has proven how little that want means in the heat of the moment.]

I'm sorry.

[The apology feels weird on his mouth, but he manages to get it out all the same.]

[It should be pretty clear that Vash wasn't expecting an apology. He can't remember the last time he's heard one from his brother.] Oh, um. [What he was about to say: losing control shouldn't involve weapons dies instantly on his lips.] It's okay. [Only Vash would say: it's okay like getting stabbed multiple times isn't a big deal.] I guess try not to next time.

[Vash will fall silent for the rest of the walk. Focusing on walking without aggravating any of the cuts on his back and arms. Occasionally hissing if something pulls or shifts painfully.

When they're home he immediately will go to the bathroom to find some sort of disinfectant. Face having already broken out in a small layer of sweat. He doesn't expect Knives to help him. He's been taking care of his own injuries for over twenty years now since the bounty made it a necessary skill to learn. Sometimes it was just too dangerous to go to a doctor. So it doesn't even cross Vash's mind to ask for help as he carefully starts to peel his jacket off of his back.]

Let me help.

[Knives says from the doorway as he watches Vash. He isn't sure if Vash will let him near when he's vulnerable, but the least he can do is offer.]

[Vash doesn't answer right away, but he pauses what he's doing. Mind going through what kind of underhanded things his brother could be thinking by offering to help. He doesn't come up with very many scenarios, but there's still a couple.]

You really want to help? [He finally asks in a tired, slightly skeptical sounding voice. It had been a long time for Vash that his brother had offered help instead of more pain, but he so badly wants that offer for help to be true. He holds out a bottle of antiseptic towards Knives as he asks.] Could you... put this on my back? [It was going to be a lot easier if someone else did it for him.]

[The offer is sincere and Knives comes closer to take the antiseptic to clean and tend to the wounds.

He manages to be very careful with Vash. He knows how to tend to wounds, he just doesn't usually. Somehow, he's able to be careful with Vash now.]

[Careful isn't going to do anything against the normal sting that cleaning a wound brings. Vash knows that sting isn't because of what his brother is doing; if anything with how careful Knives is being right now it probably hurts a lot less than it could.

That's not going to stop him from being a whinny baby about it.] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! That stings! [Even if Knives, who probably hasn't had to deal with a kid's scrapped knee before (except for maybe Vash when they were kids), will likely be able to tell that Vash is making a bigger deal about this then he needs to be making.]

[Knives just sighs and wonders why Vash feels the need to do that, but he doesn't say anything about it.

He's too guilty to do that.

However, some of the stab wounds are a lot deeper than they can handle in the bathroom, and he frowns deeply at them.]

I think some of these need stitches.... [After a moment of thought, he adds.] There's a kit in my bedroom. If you go lie down, I can tend to you.

[Vash groans. Stitches? That sounded like something that could eventually become a scar. Ah well, what was another one at this point? His eyes drift from the trail of blood on his arm over to his toothbrush. He really should take care of those injuries right away but...]

You want to go ahead and lay down some towels or something? Otherwise I might end up staining your bed. [He says this as he reaches for the mouthwash with wince. He was at least going to rinse his mouth free of this awful taste if not a full brushing.] I'll meet you there in a bit. [Reaching out hurt and pulled on his injuries. In the end he fumbles the bottle and knocks it into the sink instead of picking it up.]

[Knives moves forward to pick up the bottle.] Here, let me open this and hold it for you, then we can move to my room.

[He will uncap it and hold it up to Vash's mouth unless Vash stops him. It's only when he knows Vash has what he needs before he moves to get towels and leave his brother alone so he can lay out the towels and get ready to tend to him.]

Alright, thanks. [Vash doesn't stop Knives or make any complaint against the help. Truth was he needed help even if he felt a bit silly to get it. He takes enough to swirl around in his mouth. Nodding his head at his brother when he has enough.

He gargles the mouth wash a few times and makes sure it gets to every part of his mouth before spitting it out. It certainly helped, but he still wished to brush his teeth then burn the toothbrush. That can be later.

Trying to be careful not to drip across the floor he heads to Knives room. Carefully he'll lay himself down onto the towels in a way he thinks will give Knives the best access to his cut.] Uh. You have done something like this before, right? Stitching someone?

[Knives nods and looks as if he wants to say something else but isn't sure if he will.

He does, though, after Vash is laying down and he's starting to clean and tend to the wounds.

He isn't sure if this topic will help distract Vash or not, and even if distracting Vash is the right choice.]

I know what it's like to feel those blades inside of your skin. I've...

I used to... [He doesn't usually stumble over his words so much, but this topic is one of those he knows triggers the worst in him. As long as Vash doesn't try to defend the humans responsible, though...]

After Tesla.

That's how I dealt with it.

Edited 2019-06-20 01:27 (UTC)

[Vash is quiet for a bit. Working over what his brother has said. Surprised at the way his brother suddenly doesn't sound like his normal: can do no wrong, confident self. It distracts him enough that it takes him a little while to read between the lines of what Knives isn't saying. Once he does his tied, painfilled eyes go wide with shock.]

Knives. You di-- [He hadn't ever known.] Why? Why would-- [He shakes his head. Vash could understand why. He had tried to starve himself when he had first learned.] I'm sorry. I didn't know. [Or did he? Vash thinks back over their childhood wanderings. Maybe there were times where he had suspected Knives was up to something, but he just didn't want to know about it. Just in case it was worse than what he thought.] I should have realized. I should have been someone you could talk to.

Oh, please. You were completely useless during that time too.

[Vash's response had been so intense that he wasn't in a place where he could care for someone else.]

Don't blame yourself.

[He doesn't talk about who to blame because he's not going to start another fight, not while he's still trying to tend to Vash's wounds.]

Not-completely-useless.

[Vash mutters under his breath in the way someone who doesn't believe what he's saying would. He winces as Knives tends to him. The occasional quick intake of breath between his clenched teeth being the only complaint he makes while Knives work.

He opens and shuts his mouth a couple times. Trying to find something safe to say. He struggles to find anything.]

Do you think we would have gotten along together with her? [Finally he settles on a daydream he's often had in the past.] Or do you think we would have driven her crazy to have two younger brothers?

I like to think we would have been close.

I think if they hadn't experimented on and tortured her then everything would have been completely different.

[Knives admits in a moment of honesty. He might have realized the truth in some other way, but it would have taken a lot longer.

He doesn't have any passion in his voice, he's too distracted by giving Vash the needed first aid. At least his hands are steady and gentle, even though there's not really anything he can do to stop it all from stinging.]

Yeah. [Vash agrees wistfully. He won't downplay the horror she suffered in her short life.] It would have, huh?

[What he wouldn't give to have that life. A life where they all could have been happy.] There has to be male Plants on Earth, right? Did the girls you meet also have blond hair?

[There were more of them. Now that his mind had gotten onto the topic it was hard to get it off. What it would be life to not be alone.]

Domina had a mix. I didn't really meet the other one. We spoke briefly over Domina's radio connection to her, but that was it.

I... I had a faint memory of what she looked out, I'm assuming she was blond.

[A pause.]

You didn't know that did you? That I would see the memories of those I absorbed.

[Vash chews on his lower lip in a way that had nothing to do with the pain in his arms.] I... I suspected it after you tried to do it to me. [He has nightmares on a rare occasion. Ones that are hard to remember. Flashes of something that he can never quite grasp. Vash had wondered if maybe they were memories he couldn't remember because they belonged to his brother.]

I can't do it with you though. If I try, you will take me over instead and I don't think either of us wants to force my memories on you.

[Another thing they can't really speak about without risking a fight.]

You're so strong, Vash. It's incredible.

You're incredible.

I wish I had embraced that fact sooner.

I think I have some already and I'm not that interested in any more.

[He goes quiet for a moment. How proud he use to feel as a kid when his brother praised him. Now it felt wrong. Being praised for being incredible with his powers when to Vash he had nothing but destructive things with it.] Am I? I dunno. [He felt like a monster.] I think disaster fits me a bit better.

No.

Vash, you saved the world. You stopped me. Then you saved me too, even though there was no reason for you to do so.

And now you're struggling to keep me sane so I don't hurt anyone else. [He doesn't have any illusions about why Vash contracted with him.]

[It's hard for Vash to see it that way. His last memories of home being stuck behind locked bars as the world burns. The one truth he held onto for so long that his life wasn't preplanned. That he was in control of where his ticket took him made it hard to completely believe Knives when he said there was some idea of a happy ending waiting for him.

One without Wolfwood. Without Knives. Without probably a lot of things, but as happy as someone like him would probably be allowed to have.

Although saving Knives sounds like something he'd do. And he certainly was doing all he could to keep Knives from hurting people here so that part was true too.] Of course I would. [He says at last.] I'm your brother. It's what brothers do for each other. [Or at least what they SHOULD do.]

So, seen anyone around town you think is cute yet? [Changing the subject? What are you talking about? Vash would never do that!]

[Knives's eyes narrow at that thought.]

No.

[And he's even less into the idea after today.]

How bad can their conditioning centers be?

Really bad. [Vash pushes himself off the bed just enough to turn and look into his brother's face. It hurt and he winces at the action, but he felt this was important.] That place will take the choice away from you Knives. It will make you want things you might usually never want.

[He hesitates. Trying to think of the worst possible thing that could happen in Knives's opinion.] That place could make it so you want a human to humiliate you before you want a human to have sex with you. Is that something you want to possibly be forced on you? For them to mess with your mind to think you want it until you get it?

[It mentioned in that file Knives was given that Vash had been sent to the center. Most of it detailed the officers injured trying to bring the Plant in as the police weren't given the information on what the LIES staff did once they had him.]

PSL for arkfall

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cw; mention of self harm

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