PSL for arkfall

[goldenglasses]

[Vash was getting use to his life in the city. Some of it has been pretty bad, but for the most part he really can't complain. He always had enough to eat. He had stopped pouring sand out of his clothing. Could have all the water and shower for however long he wanted. No one had tried to shoot him in months. The people here even didn't care about his scars. In fact some people really liked them!

He was currently without a dominate, but he didn't mind. A small grace period to find another one and he wasn't in a rush. Which is why he was taking a moment to enjoy a bit of people watching in the Down. Munching on a donut and enjoying the day.

The only problem was in times like these his mind tends to wander to thoughts of home. Worry starts to settle in. Hoping that his friends were alright without him. Things certainly looking good when he left. Of course, there wasn't much he could do for them here so he tries not to think too much about it.

Besides, this donut was really tasty. Right now he just wanted to sit and enjoy them. Nothing bad could happen on this day, right?]

Comments

[goldenglasses]

Knives, do you know what one of the hardest things for me has been this last century? It's thinking that I had lost you forever. If you're serious about changing then well... it's a bit like getting my brother back again. [A bit, because that trust is going to take a long time to come back.] You aren't gone forever. You're right here.

[arkfall]

You know, I thought the same thing... [Knives admits after a long moment of quiet.]

[goldenglasses]

I was always there for your Knives. You're the one who kept pushing me away. [Literally. He manages to bite his tongue and not comment how Knives literally stuck him in a hole to be forgotten.]

[arkfall]

Maybe... But I always thought you cared more about them.

[goldenglasses]

Only when you were going around slaughtering them. You scared me then, Knives. You didn't look like my brother in those moments. You looked like a monster. [Only a monster would chop off their brother's arm and leave them chained to a pole.]

[arkfall]

Then maybe I am a monster.

[goldenglasses]

But you don't have to be! Stop killing and stop having violence be your first response to things is all you need to do. [He says it like that's an easy thing for everyone to do.]

[arkfall]

Oh, that's all you say? Well, that's just the easiest thing in the world. I'm sure I'll have no trouble at all.

[goldenglasses]

[You shouldn't. He bites his tongue once again. Angry, sarcastic responses will not help right now.] I'm here, right? Just call out to me when you need help. Count to ten before reacting. Just walk away from a situation.

Try those things instead.

[arkfall]

I have to now, don't I? I promised you as part of our contract.

[goldenglasses]

You should want to do that regardless of a contract.

[arkfall]

And you should embrace the fact that you are something greater than human, and yet we can't seem to agree on either of those things.

[goldenglasses]

I can agree that I'm different. How about that?

[arkfall]

Different and better. Do you think any human being would have survived half of the things that you endured to save them?

[goldenglasses]

I've seen them survive some pretty remarkable things. So yes. I do.

[arkfall]

[Knives clearly doesn't believe him.] Yes, I'm sure if I found one and tried to scar them as much as they've scared you, they would survive with no problem at all.

[goldenglasses]

Not at once they wouldn't! Even I wouldn't survive that and besides that's not the type of thing you should be thinking about!

[arkfall]

[Knives doesn't rise to Vash's level of emotion. This entire conversation he's been pretty bland, with only small snippets of sarcasm peaking through.

But now, Vash speaks with such emotion that Knives stops and looks at him, a surprised expression on his face. He's very still at first and appears unable to process that level of feeling.

Then, after a moment, he bursts into laughter. The sound of it isn't entirely all there, like he's broken and can't think of anything else to do. He laughs with a barely contained manic energy, peaking through under the exhausted face he had been wearing.]

[goldenglasses]

[Vash isn't sure which was worse. The eerie silence and lack of emotion after he shot Knives before his brother exploded in anger and chopped his arm off.

Or possibly this laugh.

He also stops. On edge. Watching his brother with tense muscles. Is this the moment he had been waiting, but hoping would never arrive? Is this Knives's breaking point already?]

[arkfall]

[Knives eventually lets that laughter fade into a soft chuckle.]

You don't want me with you.

You want some version of me that was fooled by lesser beings and twisted by false optimism. You want a child who will look into a future with hope while the people who were supposed to protect him kept his sister in jars.

Please, stop fooling yourself, Vash.

[goldenglasses]

She was trying to protect us! [Somewhere far away from his current feelings he'll look back and think how he should have known better. Should have not let the conversation move onto such a sore topic.

That is when Vash can look back with hindsight. Right now his emotions are too raw. The life he had been trying to build for himself here is being pulled out from under him. He's been teased with both horrid and hopeful information of the future. After all that this felt not like picking at a scar that could never fully heal. This felt like it was being ripped open.]

She thought she was protecting our happiness by not telling us! They made a mistake! She was trying to do better! It's not like you don't make mistakes! They're not perfect and we're not perfect! No one is! I'm not the one who's fooling myself, Knives. You are.

[Vash should also know better by now not to talk back to a dominant in public in this city. His angry outburst is starting to attract attention now.]

[arkfall]

[At the stares around them Knives almost has the ability to stop himself, to end the conversation and insist they talk later if Vash wants to try and prove his point, but this wound - Rem - is one that Knives can't help but pick out. A century and a half worth of such focused hatred can't simply disappear overnight.

At least when he speaks it's with a lower voice now, bitter words hissed through clenched teeth.]

No. She wasn't trying to protect us, you fucking moron. She was using us. She was using us to get rid of her own guilt over what she had let happen to Tesla. She filled our heads with talk of how great it would be when we lived among humans and then hid us away the second other humans were around. She was going to keep hiding us once we were on the new planet too. Why can't you see how fucked up that was?

Why don't you realize that the whole time we were with her she was brainwashing us into becoming lesser beings? And the worst part is that she got to you. She succeeded because you let her do that to you, and every day I hate her more for taking you away from me.

[goldenglasses]

She didn't take me away from you Knives. You pushed me away. [Vash's love, a bit like Knives's hatred, for Rem has blinded him to the people staring at them. Or maybe he had gotten use to being stared at while running around as the biggest bounty on his head. Either way he continues on and isn't willing to let this go. At least not yet.]

And she was being cautious! Wanting to make sure people got to know us first for who we are instead of what we are! And it could have been great! It could have been just like she said! If you hadn't destroyed it al!

[arkfall]

You are a fool for thinking that and she was too.

[goldenglasses]

No, Knives. You were the fool.