Bad End Part 6 - Never let the pain stop

[goldenglasses]

CW: Noncon, dubcon, gaslighting, violence, imprisonment, confinement, bondage, sex toys, humiliation, body modifications, forced feminization, child death, sex slavery, forced pregnancy, degradation, miscarriages, mental manipulation, drug use, overdose, restraints, violence, torture, monster fucking, and everything awful. I feel I'm forgetting some warning so please be careful if you're reading this as we are going to go very dark.

Things only continue to get worse. Vash continues to spiral and loose himself the more the mind breaking continues. The mages continue to use Cyril like he's nothing but a toy to use and throw away. Yet, any chance they have to have together the love Vash and Cyril share together stays strong. For now that remains unbroken. With every day only getting worse that will continue to be challenged.

Cyril tries to look Vash in the eye. He may be disappointed by the way Vash's eyes drift to the side towards Cyril's shoulder. He tries to do it slowly and not draw attention to it, but as he's looking for it, it will be easy for Cyril to spot.



[name reference:
Chasind Warrior - Enid
Pack Leader - Roderic
Pack Warrior - Hyde
Pack Rogue - Alpin
Right bastard - Shira
Mage Male - Durand
Mage Female - Duclea
Creepy 'Doctor' - Nikolai
French Lady - Elyna
Mage - Arabelle
Mage - Eirk

Elf slave leader: Taenya
Taenya's son: Marikoth
Half-elves: Kythaela and Lierin
Cyril's replacement name: Lyra
Human Slave: Sarah
Master's Friend: Rupert
Two slave boys: Poppet and Honey
Cyril and Marikoth's child: Cassandra
Cyril and Vash's kids: Alex and Soren

The mages
Vash's master: Titus
One into elves: Claudius
Third mage: Aelius
Poppet and Honey's creator: Appius

red lyrium]
 

Comments

[goldenglasses]

Vash isn't sure he believes that.

"You're not. So much has happened to you because of me and what I am."

[samahl]

Cyril frowns. "I'm not safe anywhere with anyone."

[goldenglasses]

"The world needs to change so you can be safe." He had been trying to do that and failed.

[samahl]

Cyril is quiet for a moment. He looks down at the sleeping boys. Then back at Vash. "It really hurt, you know, to see you treat that death like a tragedy. And I had to hide all of it to protect you, because you were breaking down over it.

I had to scramble to be understanding when all I wanted to do was cry. Then, when you came to find me after you acted like the one I should be running from was Knives. But it wasn't, it was you.

You're the one who betrayed me."

[goldenglasses]

It hurt. He had betrayed Cyril? He had thrown everything away in an effort to keep Cyril safe. He had even tried to do it again by killing Titus until he failed. Then again, killing hadn't kept Cyril safe.

It was devastating to hear. He knew he had failed. Despite breaking every vow he had made and doing the unthinkable, he had failed to keep Cyril safe. That had hurt so bad, but at least he tried.

Except... he didn't? It only made Cyril feel betrayed. Then what was the point of killing? "Oh..." Everything suddenly feels like it's in slow motion.

"I'm sorry. You didn't have to hide that from me. And I'm sorry, I just-- after everything, I never considered you'd be running from me." At least not until after that morning and it felt like he was getting the cold shoulder from Cyril. "That's why I thought--." He shakes his head. "Doesn't matter what I thought. I'm sorry you had to hide that."

oh boy i should go to bed i guess. x_x

[samahl]

Cyril watches him carefully, uncertain. "And... I'm sorry too. I know you were being vulnerable. I don't want you to feel like you can't be that. I know what it feels like to bottle all of that up..." He feels so broken, but he isn't sure what he can do to fix it.

"But... I just wish that you could look back at that moment and realize you were being a hero, not a monster. The only monster in that story is the one who ended up dead."

Yeah, I just noticed it was midnight here a-whoops

[goldenglasses]

"Roderic was a monster." He can agree to that.

He wants to say more, but he doesn't. Whatever he is thinking right now he keeps to himself. The only person he's ever fully opened up to was hurt by it.

Never again. He never should have let his mask down.

"I'm sorry, that I'm not the hero you deserve."

[samahl]

"It's not about what I deserve, Vash. It's the reality of our situation. And I can't just pull away from you without you understanding why. It's been cruel that I've done it since that night.

I'm sorry."

At work, so random replies, but maybe a lot as I don't want to work lol

[goldenglasses]

"It's okay." It's said with a calm smile on his face. "We both been through a lot. You need to look after your feelings too." He still believes they're much more important than his own. "You've not been cruel to me." Vash thinks Cyril has gone above and beyond for him every time.

It's Vash who has failed Cyril.

haha i get it. <3

[samahl]

Cyril shakes his head. "I know you want to see the best in me, Vash, but that's not true..."

[goldenglasses]

With a slight smile, Vash gives his head a slow shake. "You've never needed to be the best, Cyril. All I have ever needed and wanted is for you to exist. Exist while being safe and happy." That soft smile turns bitter.

"I've not done a good job at those last two things. So, if you think you've been cruel lately? It's only natural after every thing."

[samahl]

Cyril watches him for a moment and then looks down at the boys. "It's not right," he says. "And... I hope we can both have that eventually..."

[goldenglasses]

"No it's not." That agreement is easy. "I'm sorry Cyril. This is not the life you deserved after saving the world. You should have been able to retire happily somewhere by now."

But not him. Vash is nothing but a monster.

[samahl]

Cyril is quiet for a moment. "I don't think I'm going to get that, Vash. I started this mission to dismantle slavery in Tevinter, and that's going to take so much work and focus.

After that, I don't know where I'll be..."

[goldenglasses]

For a moment Vash is silent and watches their sons sleep.

"It's a good cause. I was so happy to hear you were spearheading it. I knew it would be successful with you helping."

[samahl]

"I...

I wish I could believe that," he says quietly.

[goldenglasses]

"Even just starting it. You're doing so much more for the slaves in this country than others have in a long time."

[samahl]

"Hm," Cyril responds with a noncommittal noise. "I suppose."

[goldenglasses]

"You've at least helped one. Marikoth seems to be thriving here." It's true. Marikoth has been invigorated by the idea of helping more people become free so they can also raise their children without fear of them being taken away.

[samahl]

Cyril nods. "He deserves better than I can give him..."

[goldenglasses]

This time when Vash smiles, even though it's tired looking, it's a bit more genuine.

"Hmm. That sounds familiar, doesn't it?" Like it's something Vash is constantly saying about Cyril.

[samahl]

"Hmm. Sure. I see what you're saying," he admits after a moment. "At least we're all safe for now. That's what matters most, hm?"

[goldenglasses]

"And the boys are happy." He adds with a bright smile. Reaching to run his fingers through the young boy's blonde hair. "Despite everything, I would probably do it all again for them."

[samahl]

Cyril looks down at the boys and smiles gently. "They are, aren't they? Despite everything. They're growing well."

[goldenglasses]

"As long as they and all their sisters are happy, that's all I really need. Cassandra included."