Bad End Part 6 - Never let the pain stop

[goldenglasses]

CW: Noncon, dubcon, gaslighting, violence, imprisonment, confinement, bondage, sex toys, humiliation, body modifications, forced feminization, child death, sex slavery, forced pregnancy, degradation, miscarriages, mental manipulation, drug use, overdose, restraints, violence, torture, monster fucking, and everything awful. I feel I'm forgetting some warning so please be careful if you're reading this as we are going to go very dark.

Things only continue to get worse. Vash continues to spiral and loose himself the more the mind breaking continues. The mages continue to use Cyril like he's nothing but a toy to use and throw away. Yet, any chance they have to have together the love Vash and Cyril share together stays strong. For now that remains unbroken. With every day only getting worse that will continue to be challenged.

Cyril tries to look Vash in the eye. He may be disappointed by the way Vash's eyes drift to the side towards Cyril's shoulder. He tries to do it slowly and not draw attention to it, but as he's looking for it, it will be easy for Cyril to spot.



[name reference:
Chasind Warrior - Enid
Pack Leader - Roderic
Pack Warrior - Hyde
Pack Rogue - Alpin
Right bastard - Shira
Mage Male - Durand
Mage Female - Duclea
Creepy 'Doctor' - Nikolai
French Lady - Elyna
Mage - Arabelle
Mage - Eirk

Elf slave leader: Taenya
Taenya's son: Marikoth
Half-elves: Kythaela and Lierin
Cyril's replacement name: Lyra
Human Slave: Sarah
Master's Friend: Rupert
Two slave boys: Poppet and Honey
Cyril and Marikoth's child: Cassandra
Cyril and Vash's kids: Alex and Soren

The mages
Vash's master: Titus
One into elves: Claudius
Third mage: Aelius
Poppet and Honey's creator: Appius

red lyrium]
 

Comments

[goldenglasses]

"Take care of our sons. I think I'm falling apart." Each day was getting a little harder to keep smiling. To bottle up everything and hide it away from the twins.

"I'm just... I'm tired."

i'm gonna go lie down for a bit. 3d movies give me a headache x_x hopefully i'll be back later

[samahl]

"It's hard to be around them all of the time because they can sense our emotions and don't understand," he agrees quietly.

"It... it wouldn't be bad for you to take a break if you need it."

Good luck getting rid of it!

[goldenglasses]

"I can't leave them with my brother. And he won't let me leave them with you."

He can feel the insanity trying to overwhelm him again. He rubs a hand over his face, splashing water on it to try and stave it off. "And I'm not strong enough anymore to tell him yes they can be with you."

yay a nap helped!

[samahl]

Cyril watches Vash, frowning. "You hurt. You're allowed to heal." He's ignoring right now how he's not doing the same for himself.

Nice! And I've nearly finished most of my chores!

[goldenglasses]

There's a beat as Vash thinks over what Cyril has said.

"I don't know how to heal." He starts to pull away from Cyril. Stepping back and looking away from the other man. "Everything I believed. Everything I thought. I was wrong." He doesn't think Knives is right, but he doesn't know how to move forward either.

[samahl]

Cyril stays where he is. He keeps his arms slightly open, though. "Vash..." he starts, but he doesn't know if he can say anything that will make Vash feel better.

[goldenglasses]

He turns further away. The temptation to duck under the water and stay there growing. "I'm a hypocrite. Everything I've said, everything I've done. It's meant nothing."

[samahl]

Cyril is quiet for a moment. Then, he moves closer. "What do you mean? Talk to me."

[goldenglasses]

"I'M A MURDERER!" He snaps with tears streaming down his face. "I always said that there's always another choice, but I shot him. I shot a man while he was already defeated!"

[samahl]

Cyril is so stunned by that that for a moment, he simply stares. Then, after a moment, "Okay..." He has to take a moment to process that Vash still hurts from that. And he has to put aside whatever he thinks about it to focus on what Vash needs. Slowly, he moves to put a hand on Vash's back.

"You did kill someone." A monster, he stops himself from saying. He thinks about all of the people he's killed, and if he even cares a little bit about them. Maybe that says something about him, though, not about Vash.

Honestly, he has to clamp down hard on his own emotional reaction to this moment, because he's teetering on being hurt and frustrated by it.

"And... you want that to define who you are for the rest of your life?"

[goldenglasses]

"How can I not?" It's an honest question, he wants to know. "After everything? How am I supposed to live my life now? Everything I believed in? I shot and killed someone. How can I ever say killing isn't the answer again?"

[samahl]

Cyril is quiet for a moment again, thinking the moment over. He rubs Vash's back lightly. It honestly feels so surreal that after everything this is still the thing that Vash is hung up on.

As with literally everything else in his life, though, he compartmentalizes his own emotions in favor of focusing on the issue at hand.

"I... I don't understand why having failed once means you can't try again. Is conviction really conviction if it isn't tested? You made a mistake. You can work for a better future anyway.

For our boys."

[goldenglasses]

At first Vash flinches away from the touch, but something Cyril says gets through the misery.

"A... mistake?" It seemed so simple, but also... true?

[samahl]

Cyril nods. His hand continues to rub Vash's back. "That's right. A mistake. So you can make up for it. Make things better."

[goldenglasses]

He's quiet for a long moment. "It only felt like a mistake after I pulled the trigger. I just... couldn't stand the thought of him ever hurting you again."

[samahl]

"I know..." Cyril's voice is quiet. "It's going to be okay. We'll figure out how to survive and build a world more like the one you wanted."

[goldenglasses]

"I don't know what to say to them anymore. How can I tell them that killing is wrong when I'm a killer too?"

[samahl]

"It's not about your past mistakes, Vash. It's about who you are from this moment on."

[goldenglasses]

There's something that clicks. He blinks and just a little more life seems to be back in his eyes. "You think so?"

[samahl]

Cyril nods. "Of course. That's pretty much the only thing that keeps me going."

[goldenglasses]

A little bit of tension eases from Vash's shoulders and he chuckles with little humour to it. "We're both a bit of a mess, huh?"

[samahl]

Cyril offers Vash a small smile. "Yes, I suppose so," he says. After a moment, he pulls away.

"Come on, let's get dressed and you can go back? You worried your brother enough that he reached out to me."

[goldenglasses]

"Oka--" Wait, what was that? He does a double take. Stopping to stare at Cyril. "You're joking?"

[samahl]

Cyril shook his head. "No. He reached out mentally too. Looks like he had to accept that I could be spoken to that way."

[goldenglasses]

"Maybe I should have had a breakdown a bit sooner." He jokes. Reaching to take Cyril's hand as the move out of the water.

"Although... I was trying to get far enough to not hurt the boys. I hope they didn't pick up on anything."